femininity / masculinity

Yin & Yang - world balance - energy levels - masculinity & femininity

Bonjour !!!

Coming back from my previous post about femininity / masculinity

What does define femininity / masculinity ?

And maybe the most important: how do you define it for yourself now in your life ?

Do the beliefs you hold about these concepts serve you for your best ? 

Or not ?

Do you feel happy with it or a change could improve the way you feel ?

These are the core questions to focus on if you feel like modifying a few aspects of your attitude towards yourself / others / the world around you;

First of all, I would like to clarify a point that never misses to arise when talking about this

Discussing femininity / masculinity the way I chose to is not in the same stream than the one of feminism.

I cannot be more grateful to those women who fought for the civilian rights of their peers.

Thanks to them, women now have a better place in the world even though here is still a lot to be done everywhere in the world.

What the first activists gave us as well, probably without willing to, is the possibility to now stay aware, keep fighting unfair / illegal / destructive situations . . .  both women and men together.

We came from fighting women against men to be now working together.

Working on freeing women is working on freeing men.

What a huge beneficial change !

As Joan was explaining in her answer to the first post; she is fully experiencing by choice the two gender facets: ‘playing’ with them when it’s more convenient for her. 

It has been helping her at time, as she could be more connected to what she was experiencing and she also had to face criticism for the same reasons: she was not acting the way her society was expecting her to.

This certainly reminds me of many situations I have been through. With ‘gentle’ reminders from people quite close to me.

“You are a girl, how can you know do that ?” / “As a woman, you should do this for your husband” / “As a pregnant woman, you certainly should not act like this” and so on …

You should / you should not … these are other’s beliefs.

Someone else answered me saying that it depends on where you are. It depends on the culture you are dealing with.

Big YES to this !

Cultures and religions as much as representations of cultures and representations of religions do shape our beliefs and thoughts.

Women and men can grow different possibilities to be, depending on where they were born.

Beliefs are anchored in many different levels of environment, from personal to more global:

family / society / religion / time as well / . . .

We follow the streams or build our beliefs and stick to it or play with in-between attitudes. 

We also can change our choices.

It is all down to us to find our position with the environment we are in.

If you are not sure on where to stand, go back to simplicity and ask yourself:

Am I ok with the way I allow myself to be on a daily basis ?

Yes ? go on then !

No ? Contact me !  :D Remember, first session is free !

Have a wonderful week !

Hey ! Do you like this blog, does it inspire you ? Remember that you can subscribe to my newsletter, and so you will be notified as soon as I publish a new article! And if you really like it and if it really inspires you, tell your relatives, friends or family ! The inspiration and pleasure should be shared ! ! !

Accepting the beauty in you ? !

Glacier, Patagonia

Can you recognize the beauty and the power in you ?

What is stopping you ?

Or

Who is stopping you ?

What are your fears ?

Maybe is it the right time to open yourself to that

AND

Stay in peace with

yourself

and

the loved ones who were there when you were a child

Have a wonderful day !

Hey ! Do you like this blog, does it inspire you ? Remember that you can subscribe to my newsletter, and so you will be notified as soon as I publish a new article! And if you really like it and if it really inspires you, tell your relatives, friends or family ! The inspiration and pleasure should be shared ! ! !

Guest article. Emily

Here is a text my friend Emily Peacock wrote.

Emily , after living in France,  went back home in the UK and decided to build her own business.

Here is what she says about wish come true:

“Hello my lovelies!

I am often asked in my workshops and by email about starting your own business. I think (like me a few years ago) a lot of people have that feeling inside them that they have something creative to give, but they don't know what ! I want to pass my Top 5 tips on what has worked for me and what I have learned in the hope that it may be useful to some of you.

1. Do something you love. If you have no passion for it and are just doing it to make money it will fail. Most likely you will run out of steam with it. Passion spreads and is felt by others. Keep pushing yourself and stay in that sweet spot of innate enthusiasm.

2. Never rip off someone else's idea. This is immoral and cowardly and I will hunt you down and nail your sorry hide to the tree of woe! In any case you will be building your business on bad foundations which is never good! Yes, you're allowed to be inspired by something and put your own spin on it (we are all inspired by something) but you cannot be someone else. Be yourself. You are not 'less special' (bad grammar!) than anyone else and you have your own unique story, history, sense of colour, shape, style etc. 

3. Don't panic, don't grasp at straws or you will fail. Do something that is meaningful to who you are. For example I have ALWAYS been a textile nut since I was a tiny kid. I have always loved bright colours. I have always been drawn to typography. I am a hopeless romantic. Voila! The clues were all there! I just did it in my own way and told my own story. Look at what you've always done and always been attracted to, what you love to do when all chores have been done. That's the clue, as you are doing what comes naturally.

4. Play to your strengths. If you're not a designer but have a great eye and know what you'd like to see - find someone who is a designer and work with them. If you have a flair for putting things together then start your own range of items that you can sell as fairs/exhibitions or online. Sell what you would buy. Or spend time looking for beautiful and original second hand things and open a Vintage shop on a site like Etsy/Folksy. I have a huge passion for mid-century design so I would open an Etsy shop selling that if I had the time! I am useless at PR so I have someone to help me with that. I am not one of nature's paperwork doers... err... that just gets put on a pile and ignored until I get into trouble. Oh well. See what I mean?

5. Always... hold on, I need to write that in capitals.. ALWAYS charge the right price for what you do. I see too many women, mums in particular, who put in a lot of time making things and sell them for next to nothing. It makes me feel sad as it feels lowly and apologetic. Even if you start off with a hobby, you need to charge business prices as you never know where this will lead. You need to factor your time into a price as well as materials and also be able to sell it at a trade price and still make money. If the product is good, it will sell. If it's not then, well, then you'll know and people would probably not buy it at any price. Value yourself. There is a huge mythology out there that creative people should work for nothing/very little. Bullshit! You are not just selling what you made you are selling the story of your life so far that has taken you to that point, as well as your creative time and bravery for putting it out there. You have a duty to value what you do and value creativity generally for all the other creative people out there. It's a group responsibility if you see what I mean.

(5a. Work your butt off.)

There is something original and unique about you. Find it. Be brave. Be bold. Tell your story.

Here endeth the lesson - I hope it helped some of you.

x »

THANK YOU Emily ! Fo sure, i twill help many ! !

You can find Emily’s work on FB under Emily Peacock. Have a look ! It’s worth it ! ! ! 

Hey ! Do you like this blog, does it inspire you ? Remember that you can subscribe to my newsletter, and so you will be notified as soon as I publish a new article! And if you really like it and if it really inspires you, tell your relatives, friends or family ! The inspiration and pleasure should be shared ! ! !

Our stomach, a 2d brain

We still have so much to discover !

Here is a link to a documentary that was on Arte, a German-French TV station

http://future.arte.tv/fr/le-ventre -anchor - item # 115111

I find this documentary interesting as it has a scientific approach which corroborates what I set up in my work, following my ' instinctive ' conviction (fine observation, readings , reflections , feelings ... ) 

which, in part, is to consider that

EVERYTHING that enters our body (mind and physical body): food, emotions (conscious and unconscious) affects us .

EVERYTHING.

With a non-religious but spiritual frame that I have, I consider that we are all linked with each other . 

The functioning of our body which we still don’t know that much

contains in itself the possibility of self-healing.

Here are below some points from the documentary of Arte .

Here I will discuss the relationship between emotions and the functioning of our intestines. 

This documentary deals with other aspects, such as the scope of therapeutic assumptions regarding earlier detection of neuro-vegetative diseases such as Parkinson's or Alzheimer's.

Our intestines are composed of 100,000 billion bacteria, 200 million neurons ( = the brain of a cat / a dog).

The stomach produces roughly 20 neuro transmitters  

and 95 %  of the serotonin ( hormone of " happiness ") of our body. 

The serotonin circulates in the blood and will act in our brain.  

Particularly in the hypothalamus which is involved in managing our emotions. 

Hence the impact on our mental state.

Michael Gershon, a pioneer on this point, U.S. researcher at Columbia University , New York, wrote a book entitled " The second brain " in 1998 (already !) . 

I love it when it is said to be the Leonardo Da Vinci of our intestines !

Mayan believed what we fond : the fundamental importance of our belly .

For Indian yogis, the stomach is the home of emotions

Chinese medicine has an overview of the human body and it regulates the flow of energy circulating in our body;

it considers that the Qi (pronounced shi) is a fluid energy that connects us to the universe.

Bo Zhiyun , acupuncturist in MIC Hospital Guangzhou, China , discovered 

' by accident ' ( which I do not personally give great credit to) acupuncture on the belly.

He uses it almost exclusively now, having traced a network of points around the navel that said to be extremely responsive. 

"Our organs are directly related to our emotions and mental state. "

What we feel impacts our digestive system.

Now we find that our digestive system impacts our emotions .

It seems that in the pathology of irritable bowel, the concern may be a miscommunication between the two brains : 

head and intestine.

A doctor in Grenoble, France, treats his patients by a holistic approach and proposes 

sessions of hypnotherapy .

Other approaches consist in finding a drug that can support 

consistent communication between the two brains.

Needless to say I am deeply convinced that the holistic approach is a solution that meets more the inner functioning of a person (not to mention the cost ) .

We now know that an altered state of consciousness, like you can reach wit hypnosis for example, you can change the functioning of our brain, through access to the unconscious mind. 

The effects of hypnosis are now proven .

This unconscious mind, discovered in antiquity and rediscovered by Sigmund Freud, 

would it be in our stomach, the reporter asks ?

I would add ... is ALSO in our stomach? 

I believe that our unconscious is IN us, not in one specific organ and certainly not only one.

The documentary deals with the influence of the bacterial flora.

Research show, we are told, that the causes of obesity can be divided as follows:

10% due to genetic factors

10 % due to bacteria

80% due to behavior , thus a factor 'will' ( ooohhh I am wary of this word and what it implies ) with the attached question: Is our personality under the influence of micro biota ( flora stabilisers ) ? Which would mean an even stronger bacterial influence.

I would be tempted to weight there . 

The environment and life experiences have their place far from negligible in all this !

Experiments on mice show that intakes of micro biota from quiet mice calm down aggressive mice 

and vice versas .

Thus a deduction that intestinal flora influences the functioning of the brain.

"What we are is not only determined by what is human. 

We are influenced by our ancestors (in development ) the bacteria that arrived on earth billions of years before us.

They have acquired a much larger genetic repertoire than ours. They influence who we are and how we are. "

"We swim in an eco bacterial system . 

There is no separation between the self and the outside , between self and other . 

We have an extraordinary biological continuity .

We are a collection of links and information that is beyond us . "

Hey ! Do you like this blog, does it inspire you ? Remember that you can subscribe to my newsletter, and so you will be notified as soon as I publish a new article! And if you really like it and if it really inspires you, tell your relatives, friends or family ! The inspiration and pleasure should be shared ! ! !

Hypnosis

I put the link the other day to a French newspaper that dealt with hypnosis at the hospital.

For a very long time, I have been willing to deepen the approach of Milton Erickson, founder of hypnosis the same name.

First approach : I am diving in a book about the principles of hypnosis.

Here are a few that I would love to share with you:

Each individual is unique. This concept goes a long way in the therapeutic relation with a client

All behavior serves a purpose. The chance is not part of the game of life. Our behavior, whether verbal , para -verbal (the songs of our voices for example) or nonverbal have a reason to be arising from our conscious and unconscious experiences

Everyone has the resources needed to develop and build their new ways of life.

Communication (verbal, non-verbal and para-verbal ) exist at every single moment at two levels: conscious and unconscious

We always have an influence, just as we always communicate.

Each obstacle, each impediment must be recognized and respected: they have a reason to be: protection

Respect of the balance of the world that the individual has constructed. It is a priority.

Only the reality of the person counts. This is their reality that explains their world.

This will seem obvious to you maybe or not at all ?

I wish you a wonderful week !

Hey ! Do you like this blog, does it inspire you ? Remember that you can subscribe to my newsletter, and so you will be notified as soon as I publish a new article! And if you really like it and if it really inspires you, tell your relatives, friends or family ! The inspiration and pleasure should be shared ! ! !

Hey Ho ! Let's share ! Since the beginning I have though this blog as to be an exchange and I thank you for that and for all your reactions that allow to make it richer for everybody;Your ideas, your thoughts, your interrogations that we can develop here are more than welcome ! 

How to deal with our traumas ?

Beautiful and what looks like a threatening eye: all in one single creature

Here is a link to an article of the French newspaper Le Monde, written about the Italian conductor Claudio Abbado who just passed away.

http://www.lemonde.fr/disparitions/article/2014/01/20/claudio-abba

do-chef-d-orchestre-1923-2014_4351019_3382.html

As it is stated in the article, Mr Abbado who was suffering from a stomach cancer for several years andunderwent a surgery in 2000. 

He used to say:

“I learned new things, this interruption has been an exceptional experience 

that made me see and feel everything differently.”

When we are dangerously close to a highly traumatic event, when we are almost to the point of death, 

we will never be totally the same again.

There is a before and there is an after.

Can we still always make a positive experience of a trauma ?

I do think so.

Is it easy and systematic ?

I do not think so.

What are the keys to achieve this?

We share a few :

Moving on to the following state of mind:

- We have the painful phases:

The denial

The anger

What I call the diving phase, which may take the form of depression, sadness, melancholy

- Then the phases following the mind-switch that makes us be connected with life, again:

The acceptance, letting go

The reconstruction,

These phases are more or less important depending on your unique life history

Some of these phases can be particularly long and painful, while others are barely felt.

If you are in a situation of despair;

Be sure that you 're not alone

A professional can help you. Nothing is ever definite.

Many approaches exist and one or more of them will match your needs

I am wishing you a wonderful week !

Hey ! Do you like this blog, does it inspire you ? Remember that you can subscribe to my newsletter, and so you will be notified as soon as I publish a new article! And if you really like it and if it really inspires you, tell your relatives, friends or family ! The inspiration and pleasure should be shared ! !

Hey Ho ! Let's share ! Since the beginning I have though this blog as to be an exchange and I thank you for that and for all your reactions that allow to make it richer for everybody;Your ideas, your thoughts, your interrogations that we can develop here are more than welcome !

How about you instead of blaming the others ?

You'll have to twist your head ! 

When you feel hurt, irritated, threatened by someone: a word, a behavior . . .

Have you found your way to face this particular situation / this particular person  ?

If you have tried and ended in ‘failure’ up to now;

Be sure that there are other ways to investigate

Thinking back and going through your personal life history related to that person or that very behavior is always rich and opens to new options. It is then about working on the redundancy of an ‘action – reaction’ model that has been endorsed as being the only valid . . . which isn’t true.

We can always modify a scheme if we decide to work on it.

Recognizing the emotions involved, working on them and possibly modify them to understand them better instead of undergoing them

Putting in place protections,  modifying one’s environment . . .

And many other possibilities can be considered for each of you and each situation

This being said, one point and only one is essential if you want a change:

Modifying your positioning

Nor the other’s

You will never be able to change the other person’s positioning if they do no consent to do so. Never.

How could you ?

What would give you the right to do so ? Except if there is a legal issue, obviously

Stop listing your complaints . . . it will worsen your morale and won’t help

Act

Find a different positioning and stick to your choice

This freeing can be done going through steps, including sometimes uncertainty, fear . . .

Though at the end, you are the winner of your own freedom that allows you to be your true-self !

As I have said so many times; this is not a ‘war’ against someone else,

this is finding a new way by working on yourself.

Have a wonderful week !

Hey ! Do you like this blog, does it inspire you ? Remember that you can subscribe to my newsletter, and so you will be notified as soon as I publish a new article! And if you really like it and if it really inspires you, tell your relatives, friends or family ! The inspiration and pleasure should be shared ! !

 Hey Ho ! Let's share ! Since the begining I have though this blog as to be an exchange and I thank you for that and for all your reactions that allow to make it richer for everybody;Your ideas, your thoughts, your interrogations that we can develop here are more than welcome !