Why meditation and how to give it a start

Why and how to meditate ?

To stop doing, moving, being agitated

Both mentally and physically

If you are just beginning to meditate, or not doing it regularly, you will probably find yourself in a state of lack of that constant activity of ours.

Do not think that meditation cannot be for you. 

Meditation is a lifelong learning;

like probably your work can be. It does not come naturally and it is not a gift. 

Like anything, some people will find it easier than others.

No need either to become a Buddhist monk to have the ‘right’ to meditate and get benefits from it.

What could the very first step be like ?

Remaining motionless and silent; time for your thoughts and your body to calm down and you start feeling what is happening in you.

When you want to get what is happening, to reach that state of mindfulness, 

then you start again the reasoning process that can only lead you a little bit further away from the access of your internal mental state.

You get used to this different state of mind, directly linked to your inner self, mind and body, 

differently connected to your environment.

Meditation is for everyone.

Those who mainly work via their analytical brain, those who never stop will probably benefit more from it. 

And may also find less easy to accept that different way to be.

Meditation does not come in opposition to the experience of intellectual reflection.

Both are rich. They come to be essential and complementary.

When will you decide to give it a go ? !

Do contact me if you have any question !

Draw yourself a beautiful day !

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 The inspiration and pleasure should be shared ! ! !

your body, mind & soul

London poppies exhibition being taken off

A thought I feel like sharing with you this morning.

How do you wake up your body, mind and soul in the morning ?

Oh yeah, I know. Coffee / Tea for most of us Sapiens Sapiens, right ? 

Coffee / Tea  are brilliant for the mind ! A good kick in !

Your body and your soul need to wake up in the best condition too !

Recipe ? None, sorry ! As usual !

Joking on this one !

I believe there is a good one.

Should take you what, 10 to 20 mn ? Or less if you are just starting.

Take it easy.

I am talking about a few stretching / yoga mouvements.

And a meditation.

This is a winning recipe. 

I can assure you.

And I will never repeat that enough. 

You do not need to be a yogi to meditate.

You just need to offer yourself a natural pace of being for a short yet important time.

A the beginning, just follow your breath and feel it going through your body, in and out.

Wishing you a fabgical day !

Hey ! Do you like this blog, does it inspire you ? Remember that you can subscribe to my newsletter, and so you will be notified as soon as I publish a new article! And if you really like it and if it really inspires you, tell your relatives, friends or family ! The inspiration and pleasure should be shared ! ! !

femininity / masculinity

Yin & Yang - world balance - energy levels - masculinity & femininity

Bonjour !!!

Coming back from my previous post about femininity / masculinity

What does define femininity / masculinity ?

And maybe the most important: how do you define it for yourself now in your life ?

Do the beliefs you hold about these concepts serve you for your best ? 

Or not ?

Do you feel happy with it or a change could improve the way you feel ?

These are the core questions to focus on if you feel like modifying a few aspects of your attitude towards yourself / others / the world around you;

First of all, I would like to clarify a point that never misses to arise when talking about this

Discussing femininity / masculinity the way I chose to is not in the same stream than the one of feminism.

I cannot be more grateful to those women who fought for the civilian rights of their peers.

Thanks to them, women now have a better place in the world even though here is still a lot to be done everywhere in the world.

What the first activists gave us as well, probably without willing to, is the possibility to now stay aware, keep fighting unfair / illegal / destructive situations . . .  both women and men together.

We came from fighting women against men to be now working together.

Working on freeing women is working on freeing men.

What a huge beneficial change !

As Joan was explaining in her answer to the first post; she is fully experiencing by choice the two gender facets: ‘playing’ with them when it’s more convenient for her. 

It has been helping her at time, as she could be more connected to what she was experiencing and she also had to face criticism for the same reasons: she was not acting the way her society was expecting her to.

This certainly reminds me of many situations I have been through. With ‘gentle’ reminders from people quite close to me.

“You are a girl, how can you know do that ?” / “As a woman, you should do this for your husband” / “As a pregnant woman, you certainly should not act like this” and so on …

You should / you should not … these are other’s beliefs.

Someone else answered me saying that it depends on where you are. It depends on the culture you are dealing with.

Big YES to this !

Cultures and religions as much as representations of cultures and representations of religions do shape our beliefs and thoughts.

Women and men can grow different possibilities to be, depending on where they were born.

Beliefs are anchored in many different levels of environment, from personal to more global:

family / society / religion / time as well / . . .

We follow the streams or build our beliefs and stick to it or play with in-between attitudes. 

We also can change our choices.

It is all down to us to find our position with the environment we are in.

If you are not sure on where to stand, go back to simplicity and ask yourself:

Am I ok with the way I allow myself to be on a daily basis ?

Yes ? go on then !

No ? Contact me !  :D Remember, first session is free !

Have a wonderful week !

Hey ! Do you like this blog, does it inspire you ? Remember that you can subscribe to my newsletter, and so you will be notified as soon as I publish a new article! And if you really like it and if it really inspires you, tell your relatives, friends or family ! The inspiration and pleasure should be shared ! ! !

when teenangers do not adapt to expatriation- testimony

Staircase

Here is, as promised, the testimony of A. (not her real name), a mother whose teenager did not adapt well in expatriation.

A has agreed to describe the family situation and I do thank her for that. 

It will help others.

I regularly protest against the commonly accepted idea that children adapt easily and quickly to expatriation.

We always need to be careful to what seems irrefutable to us. That may change.

Sorry to repeat myself: most of the time, children do not have the choice but to expatriate. 

Some are ok, some are not, some feel in between. 

Some adapt well, some adapt less easily.

This is when my work starts.

You cannot grasp the reasons of why it isn’t going ok until you take time to discuss it with the children and their parents.

Different inter-connected parameters must be taken into consideration. 

Each parameter has its own importance, depending on the person’s story and personality.

Parameters can be:

The age of the child

Their sense of loyalty towards their parents

Their relationship with people / the environment they knew before the move (friendship; love; social and cultural commitment . . . )

Their personality: they may feel deeply in need of stability

Feeling stuck: no opportunity to express their own will about the move

An accumulation of moves that is not bearable to them anymore

Reasons are endless and the understanding of the situation can only be unique.

There are common causes and a unique way to experience and go through them.

Let’s go back to A’s family situation.

They have been expatriating for a few years. They currently live near Malaysia. 

Before accepting this assignment, the parents had assessed the situation and thought it would be an interesting experience for each and all of them. 

They aren’t dreamers and knew that there would be adaptations to deal with.

They thought:

There would be a great and large school: perfect opportunity for the children to build friendships. Reality has been different and their teenage girl did not adapt to school

No new language to deal with as English is commonly spoken; though their daily life has not been easier

The warm climate throughout the year would allow a lot of outdoor activities; it turned out that the heat and humidity made it difficult for them for such activities. The children were more than before, being stuck in the house and had developed difficult relationships.

A  and her husband had thought that many aspects of their new life would be a positive asset to all of them. This has proven to be wrong.

After a year, their teenage girl was unhappy. 

It was hard for her to adjust at school. 

As important exams approached for her, her parents were seriously determined to find a suitable solution.

They began to consider what they could modify. Their goal being that the new organisation would have to be as acceptable as possible for each of them.

Moving home ?

Change country ?

Abandon expatriate life ?

Change of employer ?

What could they change as parents ?  As a family ?

A solution came from expatriate friends who had gone through the same situation.

After a long time sharing with these friends, within the family, exploring all the options they could think of, the solution was given by their daughter herself. 

She was considering going to a boarding school, back in their home country, in Europe.

A told me that was a major step I their process of decision making. 

It has been uneasy at first for all of them to imagine being separated.

A says that the expatriates in their host country have very easily understood their choice since many of them are struggling to adapt.

Their family and friends back in Europe have greatly supported them and this also has been important to them.

The method of surviving the separation from her daughter for A is counting the days that separate their next reunion.

Modern means of communication via the internet are numerous and permit to daily hear and see the dear ones. This can lighten a little the weight of the physical daily separation.

In this family’s situation, the parents have maintained their parental roles as protectors, educators, loving and caring about the well-being of their child.

The parents-child relationship has changed but the basis remained the same despite being far from each other.

Everybody in the family seems satisfied so far with the decision taken. 

A  and her husband were able to quickly see the benefits for their daughter. 

She now has the social interactions she desperately needed.

It is essential for children to be connected with their parents in a constructive way

This family is not the only one facing that complex situation where the outcome can be difficult to consider.

Talking, sharing is an essential step that helps realise that you are not alone.

Help from family and friends are big.

You may want to choose the persons you are talking to. 

You won’t need a tailored solution, nor judgmental approaches.

There are always many options that are possible. 

The one you will chose has to be congruent 

with your values, your beliefs and your life reality.

A  and her husband were open to listen to their daughter’s opinion whilst carrying on their shoulders the weight of their decision.

They found a balance with the interest of each of them: adults and children.

You probably realise that 

if one child is feeling lost, 

another will be blooming in the same situation.

They have kept a positive and strong relationship with their daughter and have very regular contacts with her.

When one choice is made at a point, it needs to be assessed in regards with the new reality it has created as the family will go through a new balance.

And then, the choice made is considered as good enough to be maintained or decision is made to modify it either partially or totally.

Nothing has to be forever.

And that is fine.

Here are A’s words, touching and beautiful

“If anything, 

we are closer as a family than ever as we appreciate each other more”

Thank you again A.

Hey ! Do you like this blog, does it inspire you ? Remember that you can subscribe to my newsletter, and so you will be notified as soon as I publish a new article! And if you really like it and if it really inspires you, tell your relatives, friends or family ! The inspiration and pleasure should be shared ! ! ! 

Accepting the beauty in you ? !

Glacier, Patagonia

Can you recognize the beauty and the power in you ?

What is stopping you ?

Or

Who is stopping you ?

What are your fears ?

Maybe is it the right time to open yourself to that

AND

Stay in peace with

yourself

and

the loved ones who were there when you were a child

Have a wonderful day !

Hey ! Do you like this blog, does it inspire you ? Remember that you can subscribe to my newsletter, and so you will be notified as soon as I publish a new article! And if you really like it and if it really inspires you, tell your relatives, friends or family ! The inspiration and pleasure should be shared ! ! !

Guest article. Emily

Here is a text my friend Emily Peacock wrote.

Emily , after living in France,  went back home in the UK and decided to build her own business.

Here is what she says about wish come true:

“Hello my lovelies!

I am often asked in my workshops and by email about starting your own business. I think (like me a few years ago) a lot of people have that feeling inside them that they have something creative to give, but they don't know what ! I want to pass my Top 5 tips on what has worked for me and what I have learned in the hope that it may be useful to some of you.

1. Do something you love. If you have no passion for it and are just doing it to make money it will fail. Most likely you will run out of steam with it. Passion spreads and is felt by others. Keep pushing yourself and stay in that sweet spot of innate enthusiasm.

2. Never rip off someone else's idea. This is immoral and cowardly and I will hunt you down and nail your sorry hide to the tree of woe! In any case you will be building your business on bad foundations which is never good! Yes, you're allowed to be inspired by something and put your own spin on it (we are all inspired by something) but you cannot be someone else. Be yourself. You are not 'less special' (bad grammar!) than anyone else and you have your own unique story, history, sense of colour, shape, style etc. 

3. Don't panic, don't grasp at straws or you will fail. Do something that is meaningful to who you are. For example I have ALWAYS been a textile nut since I was a tiny kid. I have always loved bright colours. I have always been drawn to typography. I am a hopeless romantic. Voila! The clues were all there! I just did it in my own way and told my own story. Look at what you've always done and always been attracted to, what you love to do when all chores have been done. That's the clue, as you are doing what comes naturally.

4. Play to your strengths. If you're not a designer but have a great eye and know what you'd like to see - find someone who is a designer and work with them. If you have a flair for putting things together then start your own range of items that you can sell as fairs/exhibitions or online. Sell what you would buy. Or spend time looking for beautiful and original second hand things and open a Vintage shop on a site like Etsy/Folksy. I have a huge passion for mid-century design so I would open an Etsy shop selling that if I had the time! I am useless at PR so I have someone to help me with that. I am not one of nature's paperwork doers... err... that just gets put on a pile and ignored until I get into trouble. Oh well. See what I mean?

5. Always... hold on, I need to write that in capitals.. ALWAYS charge the right price for what you do. I see too many women, mums in particular, who put in a lot of time making things and sell them for next to nothing. It makes me feel sad as it feels lowly and apologetic. Even if you start off with a hobby, you need to charge business prices as you never know where this will lead. You need to factor your time into a price as well as materials and also be able to sell it at a trade price and still make money. If the product is good, it will sell. If it's not then, well, then you'll know and people would probably not buy it at any price. Value yourself. There is a huge mythology out there that creative people should work for nothing/very little. Bullshit! You are not just selling what you made you are selling the story of your life so far that has taken you to that point, as well as your creative time and bravery for putting it out there. You have a duty to value what you do and value creativity generally for all the other creative people out there. It's a group responsibility if you see what I mean.

(5a. Work your butt off.)

There is something original and unique about you. Find it. Be brave. Be bold. Tell your story.

Here endeth the lesson - I hope it helped some of you.

x »

THANK YOU Emily ! Fo sure, i twill help many ! !

You can find Emily’s work on FB under Emily Peacock. Have a look ! It’s worth it ! ! ! 

Hey ! Do you like this blog, does it inspire you ? Remember that you can subscribe to my newsletter, and so you will be notified as soon as I publish a new article! And if you really like it and if it really inspires you, tell your relatives, friends or family ! The inspiration and pleasure should be shared ! ! !

Making a choice

British flooding

Very often the people I work with via a coaching process express a will to deal with choice making. Whether this is explicit or implicit to them.

The tendency is often to ‘require’ from oneself that these choices are obvious and quick to make. 

This is because being 'in-between '  

In between two paths or  two choices is a worrying and uncertain situation that has to lead to mourn some aspect of what we will  not chose. 

It is diving into the unknown therefore uncertainty.  

In other words: giving up mastering the situation and accepting to feel some danger !

With the nagging question which is not always clearly expressed, ' but what if I'm wrong ...?'

Well yes, you can ' go wrong ' !  Most constructive and not necessarily the easiest way is to learn ( rethink all those good - bad arguments that you had put forward before ) to understand , to get rid of some (maybe already) obsolete personal values/beliefs ?  

Restart the machine in another direction. And this may take time.

A feeling of great loneliness facing oneself ?

 Who else but yourself can make the choice, in reality ?

Yourself.

And how about the side benefits of not making a choice? 

You can call it otherwise, the concept is still the same .

If you stay in a situation of non- choice (' But that's impossible ! ' ' I cannot do it ' ' I do not see clearly ' ' I do not know ... ) there is a reason for it. 

This ' blocked ' situation brings you protection. 

It nourishes you , it justifies something of your current organization (work, family , environment ...)

 What is it ? 

We approach there yet another step in the work of understanding oneself: 

to go in search of the roots of the tree of choice that has some branches which grow further and firmly when others are shorter or twisted to maintain a balanced ecosystem.

Then do not forget your unconscious mind! 

Our so dear and caring best friend ! 

It is our reservoir of memory, wisdom, and knowledge of our self. 

It is all that we need to answer the questions we keep.

In ethno psychiatry, the unconscious mind is considered by various means. 

Some shamans for examples consider it as being our divine part. 

Whatever its name, it is considered as an extremely benevolent part of ourselves for ourselves.

We can access our unconscious mind in different ways.  

I personally communicate with mine regularly. Simply asking him to be there for me. That's one way.

" The poets who stand immediately on the other side of the border are trying to make us understand that we have lost our true wealth and that things would be better if we would reach them again "

François Roustang

(personal translation)

Hey ! Do you like this blog, does it inspire you ? Remember that you can subscribe to my newsletter, and so you will be notified as soon as I publish a new article! And if you really like it and if it really inspires you, tell your relatives, friends or family ! The inspiration and pleasure should be shared ! ! !