Good relationships keep us happier and healthier

Perto da lagoa, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

Here is the partial transcript of the TED talk (link below), with my additions in italic.

Nowadays, when young adults are asked what is their dream goal, they usually answer they want to be rich and famous.

There is a Harvard study, which began 75 years ago, on 724 men divided in two groups. One group is composed of teenagers coming from Boston poorest neighborhood and the second group of wealthy young men who went to college. The study focused on knowing what make people happy. Every year, the men were asked about their work, home life, health … to go to brain scans … and finally, women were interviewed too (finally !). 60 of those men are still alive today and 200 children of those men are still being studied. Some men became upwardly mobile socially, some were sliding down in the social scale. One became president of the USA.

The lessons learned through this exceptionally long study is not about wealth or fame.

The clearest message is:

Good relationships keep us happier and healthier.

3 points:

1/ Social connections to family and friends, to community are good for us; they participate to a longer and healthier life. Loneliness kills, the brain declines sooner, health is less good, life is shorter. 1 in 5 Americans report they are lonely.

“If more isolated than the person wants to be from others”: this is highly important to precise. Two persons will have different needs of level of social implication, of social contacts. What matters is the difference between the need the person has and what they are getting out of their life.

2/ You can be lonely in a crowd or in a marriage. It is not the number of friends you have or if you are in a committed relationship that matters. It is the quality that matters. Conflicts are really bad for your health.

I would add here, that recognizing and facing conflict is healthier than keeping your unhappiness / rage mute. You would ‘eat’ yourself from inside. Conflicts are part of life.

Bad marriage is probably worse than getting divorced. It would be interesting to define what ‘bad marriage is according to the person’s culture, sub-cultures and beliefs.

People who were the most satisfied in their relationship at age 50 were the healthiest at age 80.

Physical pain is magnified by emotional pain

3/ A good relationship protects our body and our mind. Being in a securely, attached relationship in your 80ies makes your memories stay sharper and longer. When you feel you can count on the other one.

Those good relationships don’t have to be smooth all the time.

Relationships - are can be - messy and complicated; they are not always sexy or glamourous.

The happiest people in their retirement had actively worked to replace work mate with play mate.

So, how about you ? How about replacing screen time with people time ? Doing something new together ? Link to the TED Talk: http://blog.mindvalleyacademy.com/p... You can contact me via piacoach@gmail.com

Hey ! Do you like this blog, does it inspire you ?
Remember that you can subscribe to my newsletter, and so you will be notified as soon as I publish a new article!
And if you really like it and if it really inspires you, tell your relatives, friends or family !

The inspiration and pleasure should be shared ! ! !

Hey Ho ! Let's share ! Since the begining I have though this blog as to be an exchange and I thank you for that and for all your reactions that allow to make it richer for everybody;
Your ideas, your thoughts, your interrogations that we can develop here are more than welcome !

Being connected . Love me, love me not . . .

                                                                         Brazil

If I say to you:

“You are connected”

What comes to your mind ?

What comes to your mind with no thinking ?

And what  comes to your mind after giving it some thoughts ?

In its positif aspects ?

And in its less positive aspects?

In its negative aspects ?

I am not talking about what you read about it or what your life partner, friends have to say about it. But what you do think and feel about it

What does those internet connections bring into your life ?

Daily, short, medium, long term ?

The +s ? the –s ?

How about taking some time to think about this ?

And I am going to be as annoying as those people who are carrying out an audit: what time re you spending on a screen ?

Personal and professionally wise ?

I can tell you that this is very interesting to objectively assess this time.

You can write this down, say for one day.

Then you can begin to perceive your virtual reality.

I know … virtual reality … what’s that ?!?

While navigating on the net; is there anything else you feel you don’t have time to do at the end of your day ?

If the answer is yes, it may be surprising to re assess this affirmation of not having time for X or Y.

I do believe that the negative aspects of it begin to interfere when their threshold is too high.

What is too high then ?

A threshold becomes too high when its negative consequences create blocages, avoidances, difficulties, discomforts … in your life.

We, as humans, have common needs – amount / quality of sleep, of social connections, of rest . ..

their threshold can vary for each individual.: some of us can need up to 9 hours of sleep per night when others can do with only 6.

Though, under 6 hrs per night, if regular, we all disfunction.

Possible impacts of high threshold

-          Preventing from other wanted or necessary activities

-          Augmenting social isolation

-          Decreasing sometimes not having rest time which may lead to aggressivity, impatience.

-          Operating mainly at a rhythm which is not our body’s rhythm. Power of concentration is modified, pace of thoughts is higher.

Addiction ? FYI, there are centers where people can go to be treated and cured from video games addiction.

How can you know if you are addicted to being connected ?

Ask yourself this question: can I function normally without it ?

Does my behaviour change ? even better; go real: Withdraw it from your life and see what happens in you.

Now, you know.

I suggest you try to stay some time ( you to define it) with no connection.

Check what is happening for you / in you. Nice ? Horrible ? Whare is your conclusion ?

I am not talking here about all the incredible positive aspects of being connected.

They are numerous. Again, you to know what they are for you.

PS: I am personally  addicted and find cutting from them sometimes give me time and space for so much more difference !

Some people have told me:

“I simple cannot stop”

And

“ Gosh, what a difference it made withdrawing them from my life for a week !”

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What determines our level of happiness ?                   

                                                                            After the film ‘Happy’

Qu’est-ce qui détermine notre niveau de Bonheur ?

                                                                          Données tirées du film ‘Happy’

I find that documentary interesting. I am giving you here some of the data you can find when viewing the film.

Je trouve ce documentaire intéressant. Je vous donne ici quelques une des données que vous retrouvez dans ce film.

After studying identical twins in different places in the world, here is what frame our happiness:

Après avoir étudié des jumeaux homozygotes dans lemond, voici ce qui donne le cadre de notre Bonheur:

                                    50% is by our genes: the genetic set point

                                            Par nos genes : le point génétique de référence

                                    10% by life circumstances: age-work-money-social status-health-where we live

                                             Par les circonstances de la vie: âge-travail-argent-statut social-L’endroit où l’on vit

 

                                    40% is what can make the difference. This is our intentional activities.

                                            Peuvent faire la différence. Ce sont nos activités choisies.

Looking at those figures, it seems that the 50% of the genetic material is regarded as being a biological block impossible to change. I would not necessarily agree with that. We know now that along our life, our genetic material can change indeed. So the good news is that we can work around that part.

A regarder les diagrammes ci-dessus, il semblerait que 50% de notre matériel génétique est considéré comme un bloc biologique impossible à modifier. Je ne suis pas d’accord avec cette affirmation. Nous savons maintenant qu’au long de notre vie, notre matériel génétique est susceptible de changer. La bonne nouvelle est donc que nous pouvons agir sur ces 50%.

After interviewing many people all around the globe belonging to different social classes, here are some points that came out showing what helps build a greater happiness. Keep in mind that each of us will have a different level of need for each point as we all have a different life history (blockages or facilitations) and our body working differently.

Après avoir interviewé de nombreuses personnes dans le monde entier qui appartiennent à des classes sociales différentes,  voici plus bas quelque point qui en sont ressortis. Ils montrent ce qui aide à se construire un bonheur plus important. Gardons en tête que chacun d’entre nous aura des niveaux de besoin différents, selon notre histoire de vie, (blocages ou facilitations) ainsi que selon le fonctionnement biologique au sens large de notre corps.

¤ Change.  Too much routine erodes the curiosity that helps keep us awake. That can be as little as changing your route when jogging. Variety is spice of life.

¤ Le changement. Trop de routine érode notre curiosité qui aide à nous maintenir éveillé-e et ‘vivant-e ‘. Cela peut être aussi simple que de changer de parcours quand vous courrez. La variété, c’est le sel de la vie.

¤ Move your body. The dopamine is a neurotransmitter. When it is released in your brain, you experience wellbeing; euphoria. The best and most efficient way to get dopamine is to exercise. Having physical activities is highly important for your physical health as much as for your mental health. People who do / have done a lot of sport can tell that they even get addicted to it.

¤ Bougez physiquement. La dopamine est un neurotransmetteur. Lorsqu’elle est secrétée dans le cerveau, vous ressentez un bien être, voire de l’euphorie. Le meilleur moyen et le plus efficace pour recevoir de la dopamine est de faire de l’exercice physique. C’est aussi important pour votre santé physique que pour cotre santé mentale. Les personnes qui font/ ont fait du sport de façon intense vous diront qu’ils sont / étaient dépendants de leur activité.

¤ Social bonding  we are social animals. We need contacts with other. The level of contact we need is different for every individual. Social bonding, social cooperation, social interaction give us rewards

v   “Being in the zone” / experiencing flow:  that is when you are doing something for no specific extrinsic reason: no money, no social recognition.... Just because it is meaningful to you. Nothing else matters then. It makes us inhibit our self-interest and feel things in a bigger scale.

v   Being together with family &/or friends. When different generations are mixed it adds to the feeling of happiness. This does not mean you get on well with all of them. Feeling you can count on them to support you if needed. A sense of belonging.  You are not left out. The pleasure to be together facilitates laughter which triggers the release of dopamine (among other substances) as well.

¤ Les liens sociaux. Nous sommes des animaux sociaux. Nous avons besoin de contacts avec autrui. Le niveau de besoin de contacts est différent pour chacun. Le lien social, la coopération , l’interaction sociales nous apportent de la satisfaction.

v  « être dans la zone » / ressentir une fluidité : Lorsque vous faites quelque chose sans raison extérieure particulière : argent, reconnaissance sociale… simplement parce que cela a du sens pour vous. Rien d’autre n’a d’importance lorsque vous êtes dans cette action. Cela vous permet  de vous décentrer et de percevoir votre vie à une plus grande échelle.

v  Etre avec sa famille et/ou ses amis. Lorsque plusieurs générations sont rassemblées, cela ajoute au sentiment de bonheur. Vous n’avez pas pour autant à vous entendre parfaitement avec chacun. Sentir que vous pouvez compter sur eux pour vous aider si besoin. Vous en retirez un sentiment d’appartenance. Vous n’êtes pas mis de côté. Le plaisir d’être ensemble facilite le rire qui permet la sécrétion de dopamine (entre autres substances biochimiques).

¤ Recognise what you have. Make real what you have instead of taking it for granted.

¤ Reconnaissance de ce que vous avez. Permet de réellement jouir de ce que vous avez au lieu de le considérer comme un acquis par défaut.

¤ meditation on compassion and loving kindness can increase the happiness level to a greater extend. That type of meditation has been around for more than 2500 years. They are explicitly designed to cultivate qualities like compassion and loving kindness. After experiences, we can say that when a person is doing that type of meditation, we can observe a specific activity of the brain and  the size of particular areas in the bran become thicker.

¤ Méditation orientée vers la compassion et l’amour-tendresse. Elle peut augmenter le seuil de bonheur très nettement. Ces méditations datent d’environ 2500 ans. Elles sont explicitement construites pour cultiver les qualités de compassion et d’amour-tendresse. Après expérimentation, nous pouvons certifier que les personnes qui font ce type de méditation connaissent un éveil de zones cérébrales spécifiques et une augmentation de l’épaisseur des tissus cérébraux de ces zones.

FACTS / FAITS

-          Practice happiness; it is a very clear prevention against low life phases as one happy person reacts to adversity and can come back down to base line more quickly.

-          S’entrainer au bonheur est une réelle prévention contre les phases de moral bas. Une personne heureuse réagit contre l’adversité comme une autre mais réagira et retrouvera plus rapidement son niveau normal de bien-être.

-          Our nervous system only cares about differences and contrasts. Be aware when you experience one.  You will most probably feel it very clearly. No worries,iIt is normal.

-          Notre système nerveux réagit aux différences et aux contrastes. Prêtez-y attention, vous les ressentirez fortement. Pas d’inquiétude à avoir, c’est normal.

-          Once you have basic needs met, more money does not seem to buy more happiness.

-          Une fois que vos besoins premiers sont satisfaits, avoir plus d’argent ne semble pas jouer sur un gain de Bonheur.

-          Personally I would add that more money is more likely to buy reassurance, balance individual fears. And that is a different point to deal with.

-          Personnellement, j’ajouterais que s’enrichir permet de se rassurer et d’équilibrer des peurs individuelles. Ce qui nous mène à un autre sujet.

-          Hedonic adaptation is one of the main enemies of happiness. Hedonic treadmill = whatever level of wealth or material goods you have, you adapt to it and you will always want more.

-          L’adaptation hédonique est l’un des principaux ennemis du bonheur.  Le tapis de l’hédonisme = Quel que soit votre niveau de richesse matérielle, vous vous y adaptez et vous voulez toujours en avoir plus.

-          Happy people tend to function better; they are more productive, healthier and they usually live longer.

-          Les gens heureux ont tendance à fonctionner mieux: ils sont plus productifs, en meilleure santé et vivent généralement plus longtemps.

-          Best thing to give to a child, to make them feel happy: love which equals to recognize them as a person.

-          Que peut-on donner de mieux à un enfant ? de l’amour. Ce qui équivaut à le reconnaitre comme personne.

The trick is to be authentically you in all those different points.  

Le tout est d’être authentiquement vous-même pour chacun de ces points.

You want to be happy? Your responsibility to make the difference. And you can.

Think happiness as a skill and practice it as you would for learning something.

Vous voulez être heureux ? C’est de votre responsabilité de faire la différence. Et vous le pouvez. Pensez au bonheur comme une qualité et entrainez-vous comme vous le feriez pour apprendre quelque chose.

There is no formula for happiness and the path will be different for all of us but the things we love to do are the blocks of a happy life:

Play

Have new experiences

Get around with family and / or friends

Do things that are meaningful  to you

Recognise what you have.

Il n’y a pas de recette au bonheur et le cheminement pour y parvenir sera diffèrent pour chacun d’entre nous. Par contre :

Jouez

Faitez de nouvelles expériences

Soyez connecté-es avec votre famille et vos amis

Accomplissez des choses qui ont du sens pour vous

Reconnaissez ce que vous avez

An now, Go for it ! ! !
Get it to the fullest ! !

Maintenant, à vous de jouer ! ! !

Soyez gourmand-e ! ! !

 Hey ! Do you like this blog, does it inspire you ? Remember that you can subscribe to my newsletter, and so you will be notified as soon as I publish a new article! And if you really like it and if it really inspires you, tell your relatives, friends or family ! The inspiration and pleasure should be shared ! ! !

Testimony

Thank you Miss C. ! ! !

wonderful wonderfullyfantastic news ! ! ! 

I LOVE it ! ! ! 

GO GIRL ! ! ! ! BRAVO ! ! ! 

"Wanted to tell you that I just graduated with my masters in clinical mental health counseling and passed my licensing exam (first try) and will soon be working at my dream career that you helped me realize.

I already have a job at the same place I completed my internship - which I love.

It was a 3 year program and difficult -

so glad that I had your help with the decision I already knew I wanted but was too afraid to make.

Thank you! My next goal is to have my own private practice once my daughter is off to college (3 + years). So happy! "

C. - Houston, Texas

Hey ! Do you like this blog, does it inspire you ? Remember that you can subscribe to my newsletter, and so you will be notified as soon as I publish a new article! And if you really like it and if it really inspires you, tell your relatives, friends or family ! The inspiration and pleasure should be shared ! ! !

Testimony of F. who did a flash coaching for seven weeks end of 2013 / early 2014

English countryside

I turned to coaching at a time of a temporary crisis when I did not know how to organize my thoughts and fears related to life choices I had to make.

The first benefit I gained from it was the release of a bunch of issues that I had created myself.

This coaching process has allowed me to contemplate things from a different angle and face others that were obvious and that I refused to see.

Of the different exercises done, some were sometimes difficult, though essential and gave me keys to understanding the way I organize my life and its consequences.

 Working on the different components of my life has been a useful and very promising overall work: 

well anchored in reality and without associated social or any third party judgments.

I was regularly challenged to reconsider my position, never feeling insecure.

One week after the other I have been able to continue exploring and thinking on specific points when at home, thanks to suggestions Pia made and exercises done.

Pia’s active listening is regularly punctuated with silences that help turn to an inner reflection. 

She often can critically reflect on what is shared keeping the discussion open.

Her interventions were always useful to me: non-intrusive suggestions along with a critical eye .

I felt the frame of the sessions as being both firm and flexible , it was reassuring.

We have been working with Skype ,

 with and without the camera , which allowed me to position myself differently;

At the end of this coaching with Pia , I've learned a lot about my life style.

 I also end up with a few introspection that will allow me to continue thinking in the longer term.

My coaching with Pia gave me methods for thinking , 

she offered me a critical and insightful look , 

the possibility to move on one step at a time; 

it was fluid and natural.

Pia has a real quality for listening , a lot of psychology and delicacy.

Thank you and bravo!

And I will continue to follow her blog !

F. 
Paris

Hey ! Do you like this blog, does it inspire you ? Remember that you can subscribe to my newsletter, and so you will be notified as soon as I publish a new article! And if you really like it and if it really inspires you, tell your relatives, friends or family ! The inspiration and pleasure should be shared ! ! !

 Hey Ho ! Let's share ! Since the beginning I have though this blog as to be an exchange and I thank you for that and for all your reactions that allow to make it richer for everybody;Your ideas, your thoughts, your interrogations that we can develop here are more than welcome !

The map of emotions in our body

'What are the sounds of the body ?'

Here is below a link to an article of Le Figaro (French magazine):

http://sante.lefigaro.fr/actualite/2014/01/06/21819-premiere-carte-corporelle-emotions

And a video from Francetv on the very same subject :

http://www.francetvinfo.fr/sciences/video-comment-reagit-votre-corps-selon-vos-emotions_498704.html

We are emotional animals.

Boris Cyrulnick, (French neuro-psychiatrist) already tells us for a long time about our ' emotional food’ .

We do live with emotions every single  micro second of our lives. 

Conscious and unconscious emotions. 

This, since the beginning of our conception.

Each and every one of these emotions have a systematic impact on our body: helping to maintain our good health or damaging it ;

These emotions are created from our direct and indirect, conscious and unconscious inter-relations with our wider environment: family ( near or far , people from our generation, from more distant generations ) ; professional, cultural , geographical , emotional environments etc ... etc ... etc ...

We all are connected;

The interest of better perceiving our emotions is to be able to feel what is happening in our body  

- changes in breathing and heartbeat : amplitude, rhythm; the wetness or dryness of the hands, feet, mouth or nose; the rhythm of eyelid mouvement, the color of the skin and its warmth; the dilation of the pupil , an internal pressure , headaches . . . . ( The list is endless ) - 

and knowing which emotional state we are in in a given of situation.

The next step may be to :

Better position oneself when in a given situation,

Choose to be more in control of what is happening in us, and so outside of us, for deciding to do something ... or not

Provoke or refuse a situation for triggering a specific emotion.

Get to know oneself better !

Feeling and recognizing a physical sensation is interesting for understanding that one environment is favorable or not to us. 

Without necessarily having an intellectual analysis or objective facts on which to rely.

Identify what is happening in our body can be learned. Exercises do exist.

I like to read in this above article :

"Happiness is the only emotion that leads to an increase of the entire body activity. "

Another delight to read :

" For a given emotion , we all feel the same physical sensation, whatever our culture of origin. "

In my coaching work, I always invite the person to focus on their body sensations.  

They represent internal informations about our emotional state that the left brain (the one which does analyze) sees only rarely or not at all.

For that, I can use the EFT, visualization, relaxation . . .

I believe that pain, illness, somatic dysfunction are related to a traumatic emotion.

Our body is a fabulous source of knowledge about ourselves. Why depriving yourself from it !

Whether you choose to ignore these messages or forge a more intimate relationship with them, your emotions run through your body envelope and has an impact on it. 

At all times .

Body and mind always work together. It’s a powerful pair. Emotions are their interface.

The wonderful and infernal human pair  !

Let’s trust our body, it has so much to reveal to us about ourselves !

Wishing you a fabulous week !

Pia @ www.piacoach.com

Hey ! Do you like this blog, does it inspire you ? Remember that you can subscribe to my newsletter, and so you will be notified as soon as I publish a new article! And if you really like it and if it really inspires you, tell your relatives, friends or family ! The inspiration and pleasure should be shared ! ! ! 

 Hey Ho ! Let's share ! Since the begining I have though this blog as to be an exchange and I thank you for that and for all your reactions that allow to make it richer for everybody;Your ideas, your thoughts, your interrogations that we can develop here are more than welcome ! 

Go for life !

Statue in London

Good afternoon !

Just finished working with a great young lady.

It was a very interesting journey of self-discovery, as coaching always is.

Short one this time: a month and a half.

In life coaching, depending where you are at the beginning of your process, 

where you want to be at the end 

and mostly depending on your commitment; the journey does not have to be long.

I am always enjoying so much witnessing a client going through their life path;

Moving on one step after another, at their own pace.

Is it a touching and enjoyable process !

Loving my job !

Hey ! Do you like this blog, does it inspire you ? Remember that you can subscribe to my newsletter, and so you will be notified as soon as I publish a new article! And if you really like it and if it really inspires you, tell your relatives, friends or family ! The inspiration and pleasure should be shared ! ! ! 

 Hey Ho ! Let's share ! Since the beginning I have though this blog as to be an exchange and I thank you for that and for all your reactions that allow to make it richer for everybody;Your ideas, your thoughts, your interrogations that we can develop here are more than welcome !

Life coaching work with non employed exatriates

Rio

This article discusses the professional work of support that may be necessary for non-employees expatriate spouses

I chose to clarify this aspect of my work, rather than the problems of the expatriate who works, or that of the children: these three facets of expatriation are interdependent.

The population of non-employed expatriate spouses is overwhelmingly female majority.

On average, these women, before embarking on the adventure of expatriation, have an equal or greater qualification to four years of post-baccalaureate studies and have acquired a few years of professional activity.

It is a changing population that follows, with delay, the evolution of the society of their country of origin.

We see increasing numbers of men, single parents and gay couples.

We are at a turning societal point and companies that expatriate their employees would benefit from taking into account that population in a different way.

My first approach to these women, expatriated via their husband’s company, happened 15 years ago.

I was then expatriated in England myself, though not with the administrative package of a work. I was surprised by the aggressiveness and the systematic critical attitude of the host society by some of those ladies.

These were women who seemed to have in their life more than others could dream of: a family, health, work, social protection, affluence, travelling around the world.

But where did this chronic dissatisfaction came from then ?

Expatriation provokes aspects that develop depending of everyone's life story.

Expatriation does not create anything, but brings out what is psychologically ready to be.

There is the excitement of the discovery, the novelty, overcoming challenges that are part of the positive food which all life need.

And the hidden face of expatriation: the disorientation and loss of meaning, the collapse of ME replaced by PERSONA or social mask.

The facades offered both to self and others can vary: social hyperactivity or social isolation.

The consequences are as varied as what humans can create: depression, alcohol, aggression, melancholy ... with impacts on the individual, the spouse and children if any.

My assumption is that the source of these issues occurs in connection with two realities rooted in any history of migration, and also implies the non-employed expatriate spouse:

• The denial of the social position of the individual. Without this recognition, how to turn the experience into a constructive state ? It seems impossible to me.

This denial is well rooted and is found in all the circles that define the person: herself, her couple, her nuclear and extended family, employers and society.

Hence the difficulty of reaching this population and initiating a restoration work.

• The difference resulting from the confrontation between expectations and reality. And to understand the difficulties of an individual, one must consider all together the individual, family and cultural roles of the society of origin and those of the host society plus the respective expectations of all these roles.

Each individual may have a different response when confronted with the society of the host country.

There may be a gap for the woman, between the social reality she lives in expatriation, and representations of her role in the society of origin.

How expressing one’s discomfort when you're supposed to live a privileged life ?

Working in these times of economic crisis, having an administrative status with financial benefits, a better salary, travelling to dream destinations. . .

How to perceive this malaise ?

By private exchanges, active listening, witnessing the behavior of the person, their spouse or children.

Because the family as a group and everyone are being affected .

What is the malaise ? What is the associated need ?

The opposite of the common denial:

Recognition

It is almost never expressed by the verb; or if so, most often under the seal of confidence authorized by the professional frame.

The words shared must be protected as the expatriate population has in common with that of a small town where many private facts are known quickly

Then with the words, the heart is liberated and feelings are expressed, finally.

What do I build for myself ? How do I develop and maintain a recognized activity that is only mine ?

The initial phase of work is to regain confidence lost due to the denial of the social position.

How to work this major aspect in terms of coaching ?

By a return to fundamentals:

• Work on individual values ​​: what makes me stand up ? What makes sense to me in my life, and not only through my husband, my parents, my friends, my children ...

• Making a parallel to what constitutes my life with what I have dreamed of in terms of ideal life.

• A development work to make emerge the elements of the personality felt as helpful ( I am proud of ..) and those experienced as disabling (I'm bad in ... )

How to recapture them, be proud of them and use them voluntarily and in a constructive way ?

This is the premise for a return to a state of self-love that leads gradually to expressing and therefore to a possible work on certain recurring issues.

When the phase of self- recognition has begun, aggression towards self or towards others, usually the spouse, falls and work can be developed not " against " but " with " oneself and others.

I always work with my clients, either in groups or individually with these three points that I consider as being major .

One feature of Rio de Janeiro, where I have been living for three and a half years, is this notion of difference between expectations and reality.

Rio appears as a heavenly city with a lot of representations: climate, samba, carnival, beaches, beautiful bodies ... how afford to complain to one’s relative, whether near or far ?

The accompanying work is to allow the person to reconnect with herself and her true emotions, to confront the inevitable stages of grief and come to make choices, whatever they are.

Sometimes the simple act of putting one’s frustration, suffers in words provokes a new self-frame.

In a word, find one’s freedom !

This work does not necessarily imply a heavy or long accompaniment to lead to a re-appropriation of a consistent life project.

Pia Granjon Lecerf works from his professional qualifications :

Social worker ( IFSY , Versailles,France ) ;

Master of Social Anthropology ( Sorbonne )

Life Coach (Newcastle , UK)

NLP, Reiki , EFT ;

And his personal journey : expatriating as a child, becoming an expatriate adult: spouse and parent of three children.

Article published in www.recursimo.com

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