agression as an answer to suffering

In an interview this morning, someone who has been expatriating for about 10 years and moving a lot in their home country told me:

- At the beginning when you arrive in the new country and you know nobody and all is new,

you are so judgemental ! 

You think you are above all those people, that you are so much better than them. 

You criticise everything: Their religion, their accent, their habbits,.. everything !

I did that because I was angry. 

And then I would never be happy. I could not fit in.

And when you fit in, it is so much better !

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Thank you so much for sharing that with me.

This is a common reaction during one phase in the process of adaptation.

This is when you feel in danger. 

Unknown is everywhere. 

You feel nobody and nothing can save you. 

You are scared : you feel you have lost your purpose.

In order to secure yourself and stay psychologically alive, you need to be certain of who you are.

That your beliefs, your habbits, your accent ... are worth it, are the truth, that they are so much better than those of the people around you who you do not know, who are so unfamiliar.

Step by step, the process of acculturation is enriching you naturally and you will open up to the differences. 

Hopefully . 

And then you can fit in instead of only feeling agression and throwing it back.

This is when you found yourself again, at least, part of it.

Ready to accept bits and pieces to your self.

Ringing a bell ?

Emoticon smile

Make that day now good for you !

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