EMERGENCY mode

Superb ride in the Brazilian countryside

"I told him that if our child was not involved in this expatriation, I would let him go alone. But I intend to do whatever it takes to drown myself in the occupations out there and find my place ..."
Aisha; let's give her this name, has arrived at her new expat destination a few days ago.
Aisha has left behind a sick relative, her animals, a life with no move for nearly 10 years after having been previously an expatriate for a period of ten years."I repotted" is the way she describes with humor her life these past 10 years.
or
"Almost as soon as we arrived here, I felt bad. My parents were too far away. I wanted to leave, I had it stuck in my mind."

Kate, name imagined only by my neurons, is back in her home country with her husband and their children, near her family after a year and a half of expatriation. Kate says now that she would have liked to put her feelings into perspective and think about her pain in such a way that she could have build a better understanding and a distance  with the "BEEP-BEEP-emergency-departure" mode that she had put in place, for protection.

Maybe she finally would have been happy to stay in the host country after all.

But what on earth is there in common between these two stories will you ask me ?
The urge of the feelings, the need to drown, as described so amazingly by Aisha. A loss of self, a loss of meaning, a collapse.

Putting into perspective this so big distress, as Kate says, is essential for the future development of the choices to be made. Taking time to express, sharing various scenarios, leading them to the end, without considering guilt, especially without consideraring guilt nor justification;
These ideas, these thoughts already exist in the mind.

Senario I: Well, OK, we all go ...

                 What will that lead me  and my family to ?
                 What can I to put in place to face my anxieties ?

Scenario II: Well, I go back home.

                     I went to expatriation, but I can't do it anymore, I'm leaving, so ...

Scenario III: Well, expatriation is not for me this time so,

                       I stay in my house with our child

                                                      without our child

                                                      with you

                                                      without you

And again, let's write all the possible scenarios, without restraint, without the "No, this is not possible, anyway !".

The step after that, is about thinking and focusing on the reality and on the consequences of each  of the choices.We do not live in Disney World, and the consequences of our choices must be faced and we need to assume them.

It is a step by step process, more or less easy
This opening, hosting fear and pain may possibly reduce them and help realise what is acceptable for each of us and what is not. 

A reflection at every step of each scenario can also help understand what is happening in us.
Have you also one day constructed emergency scenarios ?
You can think them again, in different ways and calm out your scripts !

Wishing you a beautiful day !

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