Expatriates' Wednesdays: In-between

Ouro Preto, Minas Gerais, Brazil

In Between

 "Caught between two cultures, many expatriates are forced to explain to their American friends the notion of "French liberalism". And to prove to their relatives in France the "american moralism"

Read in a French magazine about the what is happening around the French politician DSK

I want to think beyond the scope of this particular case and broaden the debate on this "in-between" notion that many expatriates are going through after time spent outside of their national borders;


During my eight years in Great Britain many times have I had this in-between feeling !

Not entirely French in my reactions and my thinking anymore because I had accepted some of the English culture: acculturation allows adaptationBut definitely not English in my heart, despite all the happiness I had to live there.

It is illusory to think you can withdraw the cultural & family references you've had during childhood and adolescence; we do carry them

And do we have to ? !

A "simple" example

In England, my friends often thought I was quite demanding in the education of my children; in France, on the contrary, people thought I was being very relax

and I personally felt in-between, choosing a few things of these two cultures that built my life as a woman and as a mother

The in between state is not stable because it is not entirely here nor there, and this instability may resurface fears and uncertainties, fragilities facing the others' jugementsIt can mean a "trip" to one's own values

What do I choose to keep from this culture, and the other ?
Is it really necessary for me to choose one over the other ?
To please whom?

Is it important to please the other ?
What will I lose or win to peck here and there for my personal life patchwork ?
What are the strengths I take out from this mixture ?

Yes, it is a fact, having lived several years outside of one's native culture, we have moved from our original cultural references, we have discovered that here and there in the world, other references are

consistent, too, in the smallest daily actions and as broader concerns in the social organisations

some of our friends and family have moved, but differently
We sometimes argue around these conceptions; don't we ?

As animals, we also operate according to a particular environment and the environment of expatriates is not that of someone who has not moved geographically;it is neither better nor worse,

It is different
This leads to benchmarks, ways of thinking that are different

The terms used in the above article are terribly strong, "forced", "justify";
It may be that there is indeed an interesting idea behind

"Forced" by whom ? By the questions of the others ? Come on ! 

Why not considering these issues as a time for an open exchange ? And if you come across people who are not interested to exchange, then it will not be questions that will arise, but affirmations and then it is up to you to choose whether to stay in contact with these people or not
"Justify" what ? Same logic, everyone has the freedom of their thought and the consequences of these  Who or what holds you to feel this need for justification ?
What does it bring you, good or bad feeling ?

The choice is yours!

If you do feel comfortable in your in-between situation, nothing to change then !
If you do, so why not thinking about what enriched you with these cultural differences you encountered during your life ?

Recognise them and identify them anyway !
You can draw them, sing them, power point them, list them . . .

"Simply" accept difference

I am wishing you a beautiful week !

 

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