vendredi 12 juin 2015

Roots of your emotions

Walking in the Surrey hills
« Anytime you feel anger, towards something outside of yourself, question it, as being angry with a mirror does not make sense. »
Golden rule
Understanding this postulate can help you know yourself better.
Though, I would decorate this concept with different words, like, for example:
Each time a feeling is provoked by an event gushes forth an emotion in you; this emotion grows from pre-existing roots of your inner system (body & mind);
You react to what already exists in you more than to what you are confronted to at the time.
Why ?

Because this emotion is the fruit of a ‘event / feeling’ couple

Your experience originates fromthe factual and emotional memory of one of your event / emotion anterior couples.
You encounter Event 1 E1. You develop feelings and emotions F1
If you encounter now an event E2 that your memory links with E1 (because of similarities, same persons, context ..)
You then edit F1 and, frequently unconsciously, linked with E1.
F1 is your emotional root.
F2 (feeling linked with the new event) will most probably be similar to F1 (no such thing as 100% for human being comprehension)

This rolling logic is true, whether the event / feeling couples emanate from the agreeable well or from the traumatic well.
Conséquences ?
What you understand and you feel is issued from your highly personal grid of understanding of the world around you.
In other words, You get your environment more from your individual grid of understanding than from what you are confronted with.
One idea: To understand your today, you may question your yesterday.
Feeling angry towards this person who gets on your nerves is not useful, except for creating an explosion of aggressiveness – internal or external- that will affect negatively you and the other.
Much more interesting is to let the other where they are in their own life with no judgement – what’s the point ? –
You chose your own place with the distance you wish to have
asking yourself: Where on earth does that aggressiveness come from in me ?
What is it linked to ?
What can I understand from it ?
I am mentioning aggressiveness, it could be anxiety ….

Look for Love or Fear
When Bryon Katie mentions that it does not make sense, I would not say so.

I believe there is always a reason. There is a sense to it.
This concept is one key to all therapy approach.

°*°* I am not here referring to persons confronted to physical or psychological violence who, plus what is described above, implement defense processes of another nature that bring complexity (and not complication) in the equation. °*°*
Happy thinking !

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