Walking in the Surrey hills
« Anytime you feel anger, towards something
outside of yourself, question it, as being angry with a mirror does not make
sense. »
Golden rule
Understanding this postulate can help you know
yourself better.
Though, I would decorate this concept with different
words, like, for example:
Each time a feeling is provoked by an event gushes
forth an emotion in you; this emotion grows from pre-existing roots of your
inner system (body & mind);
You react to what already exists in you more than to
what you are confronted to at the time.
Why ?
Because this emotion is the fruit of a ‘event / feeling’ couple
Because this emotion is the fruit of a ‘event / feeling’ couple
Your experience originates fromthe factual and
emotional memory of one of your event / emotion anterior couples.
Explanation:
You encounter Event
1 E1. You develop feelings and emotions F1
If you encounter now an event E2 that your memory links
with E1 (because of similarities, same persons, context ..)
You then edit F1 and, frequently unconsciously, linked with E1.
You then edit F1 and, frequently unconsciously, linked with E1.
F1 is your emotional root.
F2 (feeling linked with the new event) will most probably be similar to F1 (no such thing as 100% for human being comprehension)
This rolling logic is true, whether the event / feeling couples emanate from the agreeable well or from the traumatic well.
F2 (feeling linked with the new event) will most probably be similar to F1 (no such thing as 100% for human being comprehension)
This rolling logic is true, whether the event / feeling couples emanate from the agreeable well or from the traumatic well.
Conséquences ?
What you understand and you feel is issued from your
highly personal grid of understanding of the world around you.
In other words, You get your environment more from
your individual grid of understanding than from what you are confronted with.
One idea: To understand your today, you may question
your yesterday.
Feeling angry towards this person who gets on your
nerves is not useful, except for creating an explosion of aggressiveness –
internal or external- that will affect negatively you and the other.
Much more interesting is to let the other where they
are in their own life with no judgement – what’s the point ? –
You chose your own place with the distance you wish to
have
and
asking yourself: Where on earth does that aggressiveness come from in me ?
What is it linked to ?
What can I understand from it ?
and
asking yourself: Where on earth does that aggressiveness come from in me ?
What is it linked to ?
What can I understand from it ?
I am mentioning aggressiveness, it could be anxiety ….
Anyway
Look for Love or Fear
Always.
Anyway
Look for Love or Fear
Always.
When Bryon Katie mentions that it does not make sense,
I would not say so.
I believe there is always a reason. There is a sense to it.
I believe there is always a reason. There is a sense to it.
This concept is one key to all therapy approach.
°*°* I am not here referring to persons confronted to physical or psychological violence who, plus what is described above, implement defense processes of another nature that bring complexity (and not complication) in the equation. °*°*
Happy thinking !
:o)
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