Expatriates' Wednesdays: Protecting our heart

American School of Rio De Janeiro

I met a young woman a few weeks ago, as I was filling in with her my questionaire about the expatriates that helps me deepen my knowledge of this population

Typical expat experiences during her last 10 years
Positive and less positive memories depending on the location where the family was sent to as well as the comprehension she has of her own life

I felt in her a person well grounded in reality and taking responsibility of her life,who considers that her family choses the course of its life instead of an employer or another body

While discussing with her about the course of her life;

she begins to share around the theme of social relations and she opens on a difficulty she is not the only one who had shared it with me

Not investing too much in friendship, protecting oneself,

because it hurts too much when we have to be separated

"So I stay in my shell instead"

Many, shall I say all expats will tell you
that it's hard to see friends leaving or them leaving their friends

 these people known during this expatriation
True for adults, true for children

Some will remember more the tremendous opportunity they have had to know different people
Others choose to put on a "social armor" for suffering less when it is time to leave

One gives less so one receives less
This allows to lose less behind at the time of departure and thus protect oneself from the suffer of the loss

Does this mean living half ?
Maybe

Is this a good solution?
The correct solution is the one that suits a particular personat a particular moment in their life

But human nature is remarkable and, who knows,
this new way to be may allow you to develop an area in the puzzle of your life !
You may be able to discover new interests that combine better with a more solitary life


I'm tempted to say that the principal is that it finally comes from a personal choice 

that you are and will stay aware of the advantages and disadvantages of your choice
This involves taking into account how much you are someone who thrives or not through social interaction in your life now
If so, it might be preferable not to maintain this situation of partial social isolation

Here are some useful questions to ask yourself:

I'm not going to see anybody today;

Do I feel like doing nothing ?
Is sadness in me ?
Do I feel a special physical pain?

If you generaly answer no to these questions
then you've probably embarked for new explorations !



If you answer yes to these questions for several days
There are great chances that the situation that you live now does not suit you;
a change might be beneficial

Impusing a change is not always easy when done by oneself,
especially when you don't feel at the top of your capacities

Share with one caring and discreet person (no need for more)
how about contacting a professional

I wish you a day filled with fun !

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