Letting go and harversting

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A few days ago, I was talking to a friend. I was sharing with her a moment of my life when I had decided to seek for professional advice.

I have three children. When one was born, one older brother reacted very strongly and stopped talking.

After a few days I assessed the situation:  neither my husband nor I could find a way to tackle the situation.

For me it was a situation of jealousy; a situation of ‘I need your love / attention ! ! ‘

I didn’t want the trauma to stay unheard nor untreated for long.

So I decided to call a speech therapist. The advice she gave me worked like wonders and quickly.

Let me tell you the one that was hard for me to follow. The words I am going to use are those I remember from what she told me.

She said:

Keep your position as adults and he is still the child, and

Stop all social pressure, especially in your education.

Stop asking your child to say: Hi ! Thank you ! Please ! Sorry ! ….

That was hard for me to follow: how could I give up on asking my child to be polite ? This was important for me, for many reasons !

Anyway, I took the decision 

to let go of my many very good reasons that I had in store.
to let go of my very own position, the one that was reassuring me: passing on to my child what I considered important

I took the decision to let go

That was the reason I did contact her in the first place: get a change

The change was big, for everybody and in the long term

And by the way, my child is, I think absolutely fine with the ‘being polite’ concept  ;-)

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