Feeling down ?





Museu de Arte Contemporânea de Niterói, Brasil

 

 “I've always been the biggest advocate in favour of expat life in my house (despite the ups and downs) but today somehow it went out the window!! Hopefully a week of school holidays is just what I need :)”
(published with authorisation)

is what Elisabeth (I always call my witnesses Elisabeth) was saying the other day.

Expatriation is a phase in life; it is a ‘life segment’. Life is not all about our expatriation experiences.

Is it only when we are expatriate that we have ups and downs ? No, of course not. Maybe we tend to forget that life at home is equally filled with ups and downs.

Because life is changing all the time,

we constantly need to adapt to many little or big facts that arise on the path.

Family size changing, events around us, professionally or in our personal life, all that imply adaptation, a change in our life balance.

Let’s not forget that life is about change and movement.

Change goes with unbalance, danger, excitement, worries, fear, happiness,

it all depend on how the person feels about the change.

Changing is stepping out of our comfort zone; it’s about taking a risk;

Having said that, some times are tougher than others and yes, in expatriation you are out of your warm natural environment. You are immerged in a place where what is happening doesn’t always make sense.

A single noise can create fear in you as you have linked a fear when back home. That very same kind of noise can mean something totally different in your host country. I remember a lady, in Brasil, who was telling me that when she arrived, she was scared with the noise at night. For her it meant there may be  danger round the corner when here in Rio, first it’s dark around 6 pm and second, people in general do express themselves with much more decibels than what we are used to and this is the norm; nothing to worry about.

A climate; it may seem funny and unimportant, though it is not: as everything else, we are used to the climate we spent most of our life in / our childhood in. This is the one that feels right… whatever it is actually !

Yes, you can live in beautiful scenery and feel more at ease in a darker environment if you grew there. Because you know it and you can ‘read’ it, understand it.

And that friend who advised Elisabeth to reproduce the very Scottish weather in setting the A/C at 18°C while enjoying a soup

The days always being the same length, no real change in season, as another of Elisabeth’s friend says, it does confuse the brain. Elisabeth lives in a tropical country where you have 2 seasons really. How many time did I hear ‘Oh I miss autumn / fall so much !’

I cannot forget my dear friend who is Indian and had reproduced the Indian climate in her English flat. I felt sometimes overwhelmed by the warmth and humidity at her place when she was moving so happily  ;o)

Our brains are being confused, indeed. Our bodies have to adapt as well;

Adapting is going through phases and it can hit hard sometimes.

Do not judge yourself and know that.

We are all going through tough times, this is normal. 

Men, women and children as well.

Do not think it will last. After the down feeling, comes the up ! That’s the good news !

Be gentle with yourself

If ever that down feeling lasts too long, then you may need professional help. 

I am a huge defender of the importance of recognising our feelings. 

When you do so, you know where you are and you can work / act in changing them if you chose to.

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